A Christmas Story

Youth Leader:         Pastor, since I’m the Youth Leader I’d really like to organise the Christmas play this year.


Pastor:                      Well, I’ve already decided we’re going to do The Christmas Story again, but if you want to help them maybe you can start organising people and props.


Youth Leader:         Okay, what do we need?


Pastor:                      We need 3 wisemen, some shepherds and their flocks, Mary, Joseph and a baby Jesus.  Oh, and a stable would be good too.


Youth Leader:         That’s a lot of stuff.


Pastor:                      Do you think you can handle it, or should I find someone else to do it for you?


Youth Leader:         No, I’m sure I can get everything you need.  Leave it with me.
Youth Leader leaves the room and Pastor goes back to working on his computer.


Some time later….


Youth Leader knocks on Pastor’s door.


Youth Leader:         Excuse me Pastor, I’ve got all the things you wanted for the play?


Pastor:                      Already, gee that was quick.  Maybe I should put you in charge every year.


Youth Leader:         That would be so cool.


Pastor:                      Okay, let’s see what you’ve got.


Youth Leader:         Okay.  First, you wanted 3 wisemen.  Well here they are…


Wisemen enter.


Wiseman 1:             Is wearing a college graduation cap and carrying a large book and is reciting the equation E=mc2


Wiseman 2:             If two cars are travelling north at the velocity of 115 km per hour and the first car turns east and travels 2 hours before turning north and travelling another 1 hour, while the second car turns west and travels 2 hours before turning south and travelling for half an hour and then turns north and travels for 20 minutes and then turns east and travels for 10 minutes, where are they when they stop?


Wiseman 3:             Is carrying a board with the Question “Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader?” written on it.


Pastor:                      Enough!  The Pastor hakes his head….I didn’t mean that kind of wisemen…I meant the kind in the Bible.


Youth Leader:         Well, I’m sure I did better with the shepherds.  Let’s take a look….


In walk the shepherds – full beard, staffs and wearing dresses.


Pastor:                      What on earth are they!


Youth Leader:         They’re shepherds with their frocks!


Pastor:                      I said FLOCKS not frocks.  You know….SHEEP!


Youth Leader:         My bad.  I was positive you said frocks.


Pastor:                      I hate to ask who you got for Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus.


Youth Leader;         I’m really sure I got this one right pastor.  Take a look at them…


In walks Mary (carrying a large bottle of perfume).  She goes to the Pastor and kneels down


Pastor:                      What are you doing?


Mary:                        I need to pour this perfume on your feet and then wipe it off with my hair.


Pastor:                      (Reaches down to help her stand up.)  Uh, thanks but no thanks.  I’m not Jesus and you’re in the wrong story.


Mary stands up, shrugs and moves away.


Joseph comes in wearing his coat of many colours and is followed by a bald guy.


The Pastor is shaking his head.


Pastor:                      Let me guess.  You’re Joseph.


Joseph:                    Good guess.  (Then in a very loud whisper)….Actually, don’t say it too loud.  My brothers are jealous of my beautiful coat and they want to kill me.


Pastor:                      And who are you supposed to be?


Bald Guy:                I’m balding Jesus.


Pastor:                      What are you trying to do to me?


Youth Leader:         You mean they aren’t what you wanted?


Pastor:                      Since when did any of these 3 appear in the Christmas story?


Youth Leader:         Well, I did think it was kind of funny that you asked me to get them, but then I figured you’re the Pastor so you know what you’re doing.


Pastor:                      But obviously you don’t!  When I said Mary and Joseph, I wanted the parents of Jesus.  And I asked for a BABY Jesus, not a balding Jesus.


Youth Leader:         I wish you’d said that in the first place!


Pastor:                      I didn’t think I needed to clarify that much which characters are in the Christmas story.  Now I’m not even sure I want to know what you got to represent the stable.


Youth Leader:         Oh, that was the easiest part.


The youth leader rushes out the room and comes back carrying a table.


Pastor:                      How does that represent the stable?


Youth Leader:         Well, it’s a very stable table!



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Filed under Christmas, Plays

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